The Car Name Game
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. -- Will Rogers
ACURA:Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
AUDI :Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW :Bavarian Money Waster ;(Backwards) Waste My Bucks ;Break My Wallet
BUICK:Built Using Inferior Car Knowledge;Butt Ugly Inefficient Chevy Knock-Off
CADILLAC :Certified As Detroit"s Inadequate, Lumbering Luxury Auto Car
CHEVROLET:Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips ;Competely Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology
CHEVY:Can"t Have Expensive Vehicle Yet ;Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHRYSLER:Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
DAEWOO:Da Awful Experience Was Owning One;Depreciation Always Eclipses Worst Of Others
DODGE:Dead On Day Guarantee Expires;Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FERRARI:First Every Race Run, Always Really Incredible
FIAT:Fix It Again, Tony;Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:Fixed Or Repaired Daily;Flips Over, Read Directions;First On Recall Day;Fast Only Rolling Downhill;(Backwards) Driver Returns On Foot ;(Backwards) Don"t Ride On Firestones
GMC:Got a Mechanic Coming? Garage Man"s Companion ;General Motors Cashcow;
Guaranteed Mechanical Calamity
HONDA:Happy Owners Never Drive Angry;Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything; Happy Owners Never Doubt Acquisition;Had One, Never Did Again
HYUNDAI:Hope You Understand Nothing"s Drivable And Inexpensive
INFINITI:It Never Found Its Niche, It"s Truly Inconsequential
ISUZU:Is So Underpowered, Zooming Unlikely
JAGUAR:Just A Gorgeous, Underperforming Anglican Rip-Off
JEEP:Just Expect Endless Problems;Journey Eventually Ends Perpendicularly;Just Empty Every Pocket
KIA:Korea"s Incompetence Amazing
LAND ROVER:Loud, Agonizing, Noisy Drive - Rattles On Virtually Every Road
LEXUS:Luxurious, Expensive, (a) Xenophile"s Ultimate Score
LINCOLN:Large Income? No Class? Own Lincoln Now.
LOTUS:Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
MAZDA:Mismanages A Zillion Dollars Annually;Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MERCEDES-BENZ:Mostly European Rich Can Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans, Beautifully Engineered, Notable Zippy
MERCURY:Most Engines Run, Contingent Upon Repair Yesterday;Mediocre Engine Revs Constantly, Really Yucky
MITSUBISHI:Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
NISSAN:No Inspired Styling, Still, Accelerates Nicely
OLDSMOBILE:Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
PLYMOUTH:Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC:Put On Notice To Improve A Car
Plenty Of Numbskulls:Think It"s A Cadillac Product Overabundance Necessitates Traditional Incentive Application Constantly
PORSCHE:Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have "Em
SAAB:Send Another Automobile Back;Swedish Autos Always Breakdown;Sure Ain"t A Bimmer
SATURN:Same American Trash Under Revised Name;Stickers Are Truly Unnegotiable, Rebates Nonexistent
SUBARU:Sport Utility Buffs Are Relatively Unimpressed;Sorta Useful, But Are Really Underpowered
SUZUKI:Samurai Upended, Zealous Underwriters Keep Insisting
TOYOTA:Truly Obvious You Overestimate This Automaker;Too Often Yankees Overprice This Automobile
VW:Virtually Worthless;Vice Wagon
VOLVO:Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object