關於愛情的英語散文

第二天的午飯是非常美味的餡餅，小龍蝦和羊肉片。我們正吃飯時，廚子尼卡諾來問客人們晚上想吃些什麼。他是一箇中等身材，胖臉，小眼睛的人，齊鬍子根颳了臉，這使得看起來他的鬍子彷彿不是刮掉的，而是被連根拔掉的。阿列恆告訴我們美麗的帕拉吉愛上了這個廚子，因為他喝酒且性格粗暴，帕拉吉不想嫁給她，但是願意與他婚外同居。廚子是個很虔誠的人，他的宗教信仰不允許他“過着有罪的生活”。他堅持帕拉吉嫁給他，此外其它的事都答應她，可是他喝醉時經常大罵帕拉吉，甚至打她。無論何時廚子喝醉了酒，帕拉吉就習慣於躲到樓上哭泣，每當這個時候阿列恆和僕人們就待在屋裏準備萬一需要保護帕拉吉。

At lunch next day there were very nice pies, crayfish, and mutton cutlets; and while we were eating, Nikanor, the cook, came up to ask what the visitors would like for dinner. He was a man of medium height, with a puffy face and little eyes; he was close-shaven, and it looked as though his moustaches had not been shaved, but had been pulled out by the roots. Alehin told us that the beautiful Pelagea was in love with this cook. As he drank and was of a violent character, she did not want to marry him, but was willing to live with him without. He was very devout, and his religious convictions would not allow him to “live in sin”; he insisted on her marrying him, and would consent to nothing else, and when he was drunk he used to abuse her and even beat her. Whenever he got drunk she used to hide upstairs and sob, and on such occasions Alehin and the servants stayed in the house to be ready to defend her in case of necessity.

我們開始談論愛情。

“愛情是如何產生的呢？”阿列恆説，“為什麼帕拉吉在身心上不像愛自己一樣地愛別人，她為什麼會愛上尼卡諾，那個醜陋的豬嘴——我們所有人都叫尼卡諾‘豬嘴’——個人的幸福跟愛情的結果有多大關係——所有這些問題我們都不明所以；個人能獲得的見解只是他從中希望獲得的罷了。迄今為止，説到愛唯一無可置疑的事實就是：‘愛是一個大大的謎。’關於愛所説和所寫下的一切都不是結論，而只是這個仍然沒有答案的問題的陳述罷了。這個解釋似乎只適合一份份單獨的愛情，而不適用於其它眾多的例子。在我看來，最好的做法就是單獨解説每一份愛情，而不要企圖歸納愛情。就像醫生們説的，我們應該個別對待每一個例子。”

“完全正確。”伯京同意。

We began talking about love.

“How love is born,” said Alehin, “why Pelagea does not love somebody more like herself in her spiritual and external qualities, and why she fell in love with Nikanor, that ugly snout—we all call him ‘The Snout’—how far questions of personal happiness are of consequence in love—all that is unknown; one can take what view ones likes of it. So far only one incontestable truth has been uttered about love: ‘This is a great mystery.’ Everything else that has been written or said about love is not a conclusion, but only a statement of questions which have remained unanswered. The explanation which would seem to fit one case does not apply in a dozen others, and the very best thing, to my mind, would be to explain every case individually without attempting to generalize. We ought, as the doctors say, to individualize each case.”

“Perfectly true,” Burkin assented.

“我們這些受過教育的俄國階層都偏愛那些還沒有答案的問題。愛情通常都被詩意化，用玫瑰、夜鶯來裝飾。我們俄國人卻用些重大的問題來裝飾愛情，且選擇了其中最無趣的部分。在莫斯科讀書時，我有一位與我一起生活的朋友，一位迷人的女士，每次我把她抱在懷裏，她就在想我這是允許她幫我料理一個月的家務以及一磅牛肉多少錢。同樣地，墜入愛河時我們總不厭其煩地問自己：這是合乎名譽的還是違背名譽的，明智的還是愚蠢的，這份愛在通往何處，等等。想這些問題是好事還是壞事我不知道，但是這些問題困擾着你，找不到答案且令人氣惱，我就十分清楚了。”

“We Russians of the educated class have a partiality for these questions that remain unanswered. Love is usually poeticized, decorated with roses, nightingales; we Russians decorate our loves with these momentous questions, and select the most uninteresting of them, too. In Moscow, when I was a student, I had a friend who shared my life, a charming lady, and every time I took her in my arms she was thinking what I would allow her a month for housekeeping and what was the price of beef a pound. In the same way, when we are in love we are never tired of asking ourselves questions: whether it is honourable or dishonourable, sensible or stupid, what this love is leading up to, and so on. Whether it is a good thing or not I don’t know, but that it is in the way, unsatisfactory, and irritating, I do know.”

看來阿列恆想吐透一些心事。過着孤獨生活的人們心底總會有些渴望傾訴的事。在城裏，單身漢們去澡堂和飯館的目的就是為了跟人説説話，澡堂和飯館的服務員們不時能從他們那裏聽到最有趣的事。而通常，在鄉下，單身漢們向客人敞開心扉。此時窗外的天空灰濛濛的，所有的樹木在雨中都濕透了，這樣的天氣我們哪兒都不能去，除了説故事或者聆聽之外無事可做。

It looked as though he wanted to tell some story. People who lead a solitary existence always have something in their hearts which they are eager to talk about. In town bachelors visit the baths and the restaurants on purpose to talk, and sometimes tell the most interesting things to bath attendants and waiters; in the country, as a rule, they unbosom themselves to their guests. Now from the window we could see a grey sky, trees drenched in the rain; in such weather we could go nowhere, and there was nothing for us to do but to tell stories and to listen.

“離開大學後，我在沙非諾生活和務農了很長一段時間。”阿列恆開始了他的故事，“我是一個受過教育的懶散的紳士，一個隨性熱心的人。可是當我來到這兒時莊園欠下了一大筆債，而我父親之所以負債部分原因是我花費不小的學費。我決定不走了，而是開始工作直到還清這筆債。我下定決心這麼做並開始工作，坦白説，不是一點不動搖的。這裏的土地收益並不大，一個人經營農場如果想不賠本必須使用農奴或僱用勞工，這幾乎是一碼子事；或者把自己等同於農民，就是説，親自帶着一家人下地幹活。此外，沒有折中的路子。不過那時我還沒有探究到這些微妙關係。我不漏過一塊未翻耕的土地，把附近村子裏所有的農民，無論男人女人都聚到了一起，工作以極大的速度進展着。我親自耕地，播種，收割，可是煩透了做這一切，就像村子裏的貓餓得去吃菜園裏的黃瓜一樣厭惡得焦眉爛額。我全身疼痛，走路都打瞌睡。起先似乎我能輕易調和這種辛苦的生活與我有教養的習慣，我認為要做到這一點在生活中有必要維持一種固定的表面形式。我把自己安置到樓上這兒最好的房間裏，我指示僕人們午飯和晚飯後給我把咖啡和酒端到樓上，每晚上牀睡覺時我都要看Vyestnik Evropi。可是一天，我們的牧師伊凡神父來了，一口氣喝完了我所有的酒，Vyestnik Evropi也到牧師的女兒們手裏去了。夏季，特別是割曬牧草的時候，我根本連牀都挨不到，有時睡在穀倉的雪撬上，有時睡在某個森林人的小屋裏，哪還有看書的機會？慢慢地我搬到樓下來了，開始在僕人的廚房裏吃飯，除了我服侍父親的僕人，解僱他們會令他們痛苦萬分，我之前的奢侈蕩然無存。

“I have lived at Sofino and been farming for a long time,” Alehin began, “ever since I left the University. I am an idle gentleman by education, a studious person by disposition; but there was a big debt owing on the estate when I came here, and as my father was in debt partly because he had spent so much on my education, I resolved not to go away, but to work till I paid off the debt. I made up my mind to this and set to work, not, I must confess, without some repugnance. The land here does not yield much, and if one is not to farm at a loss one must employ serf labour or hired labourers, which is almost the same thing, or put it on a peasant footing—that is, work the fields oneself and with one’s family. There is no middle path. But in those days I did not go into such subtleties. I did not leave a clod of earth unturned; I gathered together all the peasants, men and women, from the neighbouring villages; the work went on at a tremendous pace. I myself ploughed and sowed and reaped, and was bored doing it, and frowned with disgust, like a village cat driven by hunger to eat cucumbers in the kitchen-garden. My body ached, and I slept as I walked. At first it seemed to me that I could easily reconcile this life of toil with my cultured habits; to do so, I thought, all that is necessary is to maintain a certain external order in life. I established myself upstairs here in the best rooms, and ordered them to bring me there coffee and liquor after lunch and dinner, and when I went to bed I read every night the Vyestnik Evropi. But one day our priest, Father Ivan, came and drank up all my liquor at one sitting; and the Vyestnik Evropi went to the priest’s daughters; as in the summer, especially at the haymaking, I did not succeed in getting to my bed at all, and slept in the sledge in the barn, or somewhere in the forester’s lodge, what chance was there of reading? Little by little I moved downstairs, began dining in the servants’ kitchen, and of my former luxury nothing is left but the servants who were in my father’s service, and whom it would be painful to turn away.

在最初的.幾年裏我當選為這裏的榮譽治安法官。我得經常去城裏參加治安協會和巡迴法院的會議，這對我來説是一個令人愉快的變化。當連續在這兒住了兩三個月後，特別是冬天，終於開始渴望接觸有知識有教養的人，哪怕是穿黑外套的牧師。而在巡回法庭裏穿各種衣服的人——有穿雙排扣常禮服的，有穿制服的，還有穿燕尾服的——所有的律師，男人們都接受過普通教育。我終於有了一些可以進行思想交流的人。經過在雪撬上睡覺和在廚房吃飯後，穿着乾淨的亞麻布衣服，細薄的靴子坐在靠背椅裏，某人的馬甲上還掛着錶鏈，這一切是多麼的奢侈了啊！

“In the first years I was elected here an honourary justice of the peace. I used to have to go to the town and take part in the sessions of the congress and of the circuit court, and this was a pleasant change for me. When you live here for two or three months without a break, especially in the winter, you begin at last to pine for a black coat. And in the circuit court there were frock-coats, and uniforms, and dress- coats, too, all lawyers, men who have received a general education; I had some one to talk to. After sleeping in the sledge and dining in the kitchen, to sit in an arm-chair in clean linen, in thin boots, with a chain on one’s waistcoat, is such luxury!

“在城裏我受到熱烈歡迎，我熱切地結交各種朋友。説實話，在我所結識的人中最親密，最合我意的是跟巡回法庭的副庭長盧格諾維奇的相識。你們倆都認識他，一個很有魅力的人。這一切就發生在那個著名的縱火案之後，初步調查持續了兩天，我們都筋疲力盡了。盧格諾維奇看着我説：

“‘哎，我説，來跟我一起共進晚餐吧。’

“I received a warm welcome in the town. I made friends eagerly. And of all my acquaintanceships the most intimate and, to tell the truth, the most agreeable to me was my acquaintance with Luganovitch, the vice-president of the circuit court. You both know him: a most charming personality. It all happened just after a celebrated case of incendiarism; the preliminary investigation lasted two days; we were exhausted. Luganovitch looked at me and said:

“ ‘Look here, come round to dinner with me.’

“這有點出乎意料，因為我和盧格諾維奇並不熟，跟他只是職務上的交往，從未去過他家裏。我剛剛回旅館房間換好衣服要出去吃晚飯。這是我命中註定要與盧格諾維奇的妻子，安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜相遇。那時她還很年輕，至多二十二歲，她的第一個孩子剛剛半歲。這都是過去的事了，而現在我發現很難説得清她到底有何例外，以及她那麼吸引我的原因。當時，在那次晚宴上，這一切對我非常清晰，我看到了一個年輕可愛，善良聰明而迷人的女人，彷彿之前我從未遇到過一個這樣的人。我立刻覺得她是某個我已經很熟悉很親密了的人，好像那張臉，那誠懇聰慧的眼神，我小時候已在某處——擱在我母親衣櫃裏的相冊裏——見到過了。

“This was unexpected, as I knew Luganovitch very little, only officially, and I had never been to his house. I only just went to my hotel room to change and went off to dinner. And here it was my lot to meet Anna Alexyevna, Luganovitch’s wife. At that time she was still very young, not more than twenty-two, and her first baby had been born just six months before. It is all a thing of the past; and now I should find it difficult to define what there was so exceptional in her, what it was in her attracted me so much; at the time, at dinner, it was all perfectly clear to me. I saw a lovely young, good, intelligent, fascinating woman, such as I had never met before; and I felt her at once some one close and already familiar, as though that face, those cordial, intelligent eyes, I had seen somewhere in my childhood, in the album which lay on my mother’s chest of drawers.