王爾德幽默語錄

1、《生命之書》始於一座花園裏的一男一女……它最後以《啟示錄》告終。The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…It ends with Revelations.

2、*糟糕的藝術家總是在相互欣賞作品。Bad artists always admire each other's work.

3、我有一個重大發現——如果攝入足量酒精，就會產生各種陶醉的效果。I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.

4、我喜歡演戲。與人生相比，演戲更真實。I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

5、請別開槍打死那個鋼琴師，他已經盡力了。Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

6、*人生是一件愚蠢的事情；相反，愛則是兩個傻瓜之間的事。Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

7、在任何一個有讀過歷史的人眼中，公民抗命是人類原始的美德。人類歷史是通過公民抗命才能取得進展的，要不是經由公民抗命，就得經過軍事起義了。Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progrehas been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.

8、*來自敵人的困難可以忍，來自朋友的成功則絕不可忍。It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one's enemies. It is the successes of one's friends that are hard to bear.

9、結婚這件事，所有女人的看法都一致，所有男人的看法都不同。 Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.

10、上帝知道，我無論如何都不會跑去當牛津大學教授的。我將會是一個詩人，一個作家，劇作家。我會不知怎麼的就一舉成名了，如果不是名動四方，那就是臭名遠播。又或者我會把畢生都用來享樂，然後，誰知道呢，可能只是停下來休息，什麼也不做。柏拉圖説過當人生走到盡頭時最崇高的，莫過於坐下來，沉思世間事物。也許這也將會是我最後的結局。God knows; I won't be an Oxford don anyhow. I'll be a poet, a writer, a dramatist. Somehow or other I'll be famous, and if not famous, I'll be notorious. Or perhaps I'll lead the life of pleasure for a time and then—who knows?—rest and do nothing. What does Plato say is the highest end that man can attain here below? To sit down and contemplate the good. Perhaps that will be the end of me too.

11、*所有人類的重大問題都有一個共同點：只有用幽默和瘋狂去解決。It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment.

12、詩人能挺過一切劫難，除了印刷錯誤。A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

13、*一切藝術皆無道德可言。 All art is immoral.

14、我想，上帝在創造人類時高估了他的能力。I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

15、我簡直太聰明瞭，有時連我自己都不知道自己在説什麼。I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.

16、心是用來碎的。The heart was made to be broken.

17、男女之間不可能存在友誼，有的只是愛恨情仇。Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

18、演出相當成功，對觀眾則是一場災難。The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.

19、到底什麼是時裝潮流？從藝術的角度來看，它通常是一種醜陋形式的表達，以至於人們忍無可忍地每六個月便要把它修改一下。

20、愛情之不可理解比起死亡之神祕更甚。The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

21、生活事關緊要，怎能不戲談。Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.

22、*世界上只有兩種悲劇，一種是沒有得到你想要的，另一種是得到了。In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

23、不夠真誠是危險的，太真誠則絕對是致命的。A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

24、報紙和文學的區別是，報紙沒法讀，而文學則沒人讀。The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.

25、女人代表着物質戰勝了理智，正如男人代表着理智戰勝了道德。Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

26、一個人在選擇他的敵人時不能太仔細了。A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

27、懸念是可怕的。我希望它一直延續下去。This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

28、聖人和罪人的唯一區別是，每一個聖人都有過去，而每一個罪人都有未來。The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future.

29、當我年輕時，我以為金錢是人生中最重要的東西。現在我老了，我知道這是真的。When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is.

30、要避免爭論，爭論總是俗不可耐，而且常常令人信服。Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.

31、*愚昧是最大的罪惡。There is no sin except stupidity.

32、我整個早上都在校對自己的一首詩，去掉了一個逗號。下午我又把它加了上去。I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.

33、當天神想要懲罰我們，他們就答應我們的祈禱。When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

34、*這是一件很悲哀的事情，現在很少有無用的信息。It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useleinformation.

35、*漂亮話都是最美好的，比醜陋好。It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

36、所有糟糕的詩歌都源於真情實感。All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.

37、*一個人決對不要相信説出自己真實年齡的女人。如果她把年齡都説出來了，她還有什麼不會説的。One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

38、失去一個父母可以看成是一種不幸；失去雙親看上去就像是一種粗心了。To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

39、*民主就是指人民用人民的棒槌打擊人民。Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

40、*假如一個人聽到差勁的音樂，他有義務用談話把它壓下去。If one hears bad music it is one's duty to drown it by one's conversation.

41、*樂觀的基礎完全是恐懼。The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

42、每當人們贊同我時，我總希望自己一定是錯了。Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

43、所有女人都會變得像她們的母親一樣，這是女人的悲劇。但沒有男人變得像他們的父親，這是男人的悲劇。All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

44、擺脱誘-惑的唯一方法是屈服於它。The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

45、凡人創造歷史，偉人書寫。Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.

46、年輕人想要有信仰，但他們卻沒有；老年人不想要信仰，但卻辦不到。Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

47、該死，先生，結婚是你的職責，你不能總是逍遙快活。Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure.

48、我能抗拒一切，除了誘-惑。 I can resist everything except temptation.

49、當面扎刀的是真朋友。True friends stab you in the front.

50、女人因為男人的缺點而愛男人；如果男人的缺點足夠多，女人什麼事都可以原諒他們，哪怕是他們的智力。Women love men for their defects; if men have enough of them women will forgive them everything, even their gigantic intellects.

51、只要一個女人看上去比她自己的女兒小十歲，她就一定會心滿意足。As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

52、*無知就像是一朵精緻的花：一碰它就消失了。Ignorance is like a delicate flower: touch it and the bloom is gone.

53、我喜歡對一堵牆説話，世界上只有它不會反駁我。I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.

54、恭維話從來沒有讓女人繳械，但可以讓男人繳械。這就是性別差異。Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the se-xes.

55、當美國的好人死了，他們就去巴黎。當美國的壞蛋死了，他們就去美國。When good Americans die they go to Paris. When bad Americans die they go to America.

56、老年人相信每一件事物；中年人猜疑每一件事物；青年人什麼都懂。

57、我們都生活在陰溝裏，但仍有人仰望星空。We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

58、藝術是世間唯一需要認真看待的事，藝術家卻是社會上唯一拒絕認真的人。Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious.

59、女人在世上的日子要比男人好過得多。她們有太多禁忌。Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them.

60、*爭論者損失的.僅僅是智力。It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue.

61、真朋友才會當面中傷你。A true friend stabs you in the front.

62、我喜歡政治晚會，這是唯一人們不談政治的地方。I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don't talk politics.

63、男人因厭倦而結婚，女人因好奇而結婚，雙方都會失望。 Men marry because they are tired, women becausethey are curious; both are disappointed.

64、沒有烏托邦的世界地圖是不值一瞥的。 A map of the world which does not include Utopia is not worth even glancing at.

65、所有糟糕的藝術品都是出於好意。

66、科學是死去的宗教記錄。Science is the record of dead religions.

67、原諒你的敵人；沒什麼能比這樣更讓他們生氣。Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

68、夢想家只能在月光下找到自己的路，他的懲罰是第一個看見黎明。A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

69、所謂經驗，乃是人們為其錯誤貼上的標籤。Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

70、什麼是離婚的主要原因？結婚。 What is the chief cause of divorce?Marriage.

71、在考試裏，愚昧的人總提問一些會令睿智的人答不上的問題。 In examinations the foolish ask questions that the wise cannot answer.

72、我還沒有年輕到什麼都懂的地步。I am not young enough to know everything.

73、所謂道德或不道德的書是不存在的。書只分為寫得好、寫得差，僅此而已。There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

74、良心和怯懦其實是一回事。 Conscience and cowardice are really the same things.

75、*美國是一個不經-文明階段就從野蠻走向頹廢的國家。

76、不要給女人忠告；決不要給女人任何她晚上不能穿戴的東西。Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

77、*宗教的真理即倖存之觀念。Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.

78、教育事業是值得欽佩的，但請注意：並沒有什麼值得知道的事是能夠被傳授的。Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

79、對於忠告，你所能做的，就是把它奉送給別人，忠告從來就不是給自己準備的。The only thing to do with good advice is to pait on. It is never of any use to oneself.

80、公眾極其寬容，他們可以寬容一切，天才除外。The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

81、*音樂讓人感覺如此浪漫，至少它總是讓人發神經，現在浪漫和發神經都是一回事。Music makes one feel so romantic，at least it always gets on one's nerves, which is the same thing nowadays.