SAT作文实例讲解
作文题一: Is memory a help or a hindrance in helping us learn from the past and succeed in the future?
学生习作1:
On the thesis, one may have doubt since not all the memories are sweet. But I insist that even the bad ones can offer help. For instance, during my winter vacation in Junior, I lost a cell phone that I had used for more than two years. That was the day before the Spring Festival, the most important festival for reunion in China. I was in a good mood at that time because I was going to shoot some photos with my aunt. There were many people in the store. 3I felt a little crowded. It was the time when we were choosing the frames that my cell phone was stolen. Too late did I realize the unfortunate fact.
Afterwards, whenever I was in public, I paid extra attention to my personal possession such as my purse and mp4. Therefore, I havent lost any other things till now. I learned to be extremely careful from the horrible memory.
分析:
1 during强调延续性,in强调一段时间里发生了一件事。所以此处应该改成in.
2 文章采取倒叙手法,所以在2处感觉有一点奇怪,刚刚还是东西被盗,后来心情又好了。
3 不能是你觉得挤,只能是that place was a little crowded
4 文章的.深刻度不够,处于4-5分的水平,要拿更好的分数,还得在深刻性上下功夫。个人例子特别适合以情动人。
-
大林和小林读后感(精选20篇)
当阅读完一本名著后,你有什么体会呢?现在就让我们写一篇走心的读后感吧。你想知道读后感怎么写吗?下面是小编收集整理的大林和小林读后感,仅供参考,欢迎大家阅读。大林和小林读后感篇1最近我读完了一本书,是《大林和小林》,这是一本富有哲理、幽默性的故事书。是著名...
-
个人教学业务工作总结
个人教学业务工作总结总结就是把一个时段的学习、工作或其完成情况进行一次全面系统的总结,它能使我们及时找出错误并改正,是时候写一份总结了。总结怎么写才能发挥它的作用呢?以下是小编精心整理的个人教学业务工作总结,供大家参考借鉴,希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友...
-
开学第一课观后感(精选33篇)
当品味完一部作品后,这次观看让你有什么领悟呢?是时候抽出时间写写观后感了。那么我们如何去写观后感呢?下面是小编帮大家整理的开学第一课观后感,供大家参考借鉴,希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友。开学第一课观后感篇1每年的《开学第一课》是我最爱看的节目,我听从班主...
-
文化苦旅读后感(精选22篇)
读完某一作品后,相信大家一定领会了不少东西,为此需要认真地写一写读后感了。但是读后感有什么要求呢?以下是小编精心整理的文化苦旅读后感,仅供参考,大家一起来看看吧。文化苦旅读后感篇1亲爱的朋友,当你翻开《文化苦旅》,是不是也像我一样感慨:余秋雨先生怎的这么有...