簡單搞笑的英語小故事（通用9篇）

有很多孩子都喜歡聽英語故事,特別是一些簡單又很搞笑的小故事是很受歡迎的。小編為大家精心準備了簡單而且搞笑的幾則英語小故事,歡迎大家前來閲讀。

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇1

Covers: Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.

封面:忘記你不能改變的過去。忘記你不能預測的將來。

Inside: Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one.

內文:忘記現在，因為我沒有給你買生日禮物。

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇2

A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.

一個小夥子被安排去相親，為了能給女孩留一個好印象，他帶着她去了家收費昂貴的餐廳。

The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.

服務生過來問他們要點些什麼菜。

The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.

女孩開始點菜了，她幾乎點了菜單上所有的東西，雞尾蝦、派、凱撒沙拉、龍蝦、柳橙可麗餅，完全不考慮價格。

The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.

小夥子變得很不安，他真沒想到女孩竟然會點這麼多菜。

She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks,"What do you suggest I wash it down with?"

這時她停下了，看着坐在對面的他，問，“你認為咱們該喝什麼酒水配這些菜呢?”

"Well my dear, I can think of nothing so fitting as the Mississippi River"

“哦，親愛的，我覺得沒有什麼東西比密西西比河更合適了。”

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇3

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"

一架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭裏傳來了機長的聲音：“旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時 。”

過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎麼啦 ?我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了。只有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。”

正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地説：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇4

There once lived a young crow in the countryside. One summer, there was no rain and it was very hot. The crow was very thirsty, but he couldn't find any water.

"How can I survive?" he thought. "I must have water or I'll die!"

Just then he saw a farmhouse. Outside the house, there was a vase with some water at the bottom. He tried to drink, but he couldn't reach the water inside.

The young crow didn't know what to do. He leaned against the vase and cried.

"Will somebody please help me?" sobbed the crow. He cried and cried, but nobody heard him. Finally, he dried his eyes and stood up.

He tried knocking over the vase, but it was too heavy. Then he tried breaking it, but he wasn't strong enough. Finally, he had a good idea. He began dropping stones into the vase. The water slowly rose to the top. At last, the crow could drink.

"What wonderful water!" said the crow. "I'm glad that I didn't waste all my time by crying. Thinking is much better than crying!

曾經有一隻烏鴉在鄉下。一個夏天，沒有雨，很熱。烏鴉很渴，但他找不到水。

“我怎樣才能生存?”他想。”我必須有水，否則我會死的!”

就那麼他看到了一座農舍。房子外面有個花瓶，裏面有一些水。他試着喝，但他不能到達水裏。

年輕的烏鴉不知道該做什麼。他靠在花瓶上哭泣。

“有人能幫我嗎?”嗚咽的烏鴉。他哭了，哭了，但沒人聽他説。最後，他擦乾眼睛，站了起來。

他試圖把花瓶打過來，但太重了。然後他試着打破它，但他不夠堅強。最後，他有一個好主意。他開始把石頭扔進花瓶裏。水慢慢地漲到了頂部。最後，烏鴉可以喝。

“什麼水啊!”烏鴉説。我很高興我沒有浪費我的時間哭。思考比哭泣好得多!

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇5

In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said;"Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"The doctor said;“No,you have to pull him down at once;otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."

一家精神病院裏，醫生走進一個病人的房間，發現病人正吊在天花板上晃來晃去。醫生嚇壞了，擔心病人摔下來一命嗚呼，趕緊叫護士把病人拉下來。護士説：¨醫生，這個病人每天都認為自己是一盞燈，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。“醫生説：¨不行，你 還是得馬上把他拉下來，免得他摔死。

After a pause,the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"

護士停頓了一下，説：¨可是，如果我把他拉下來，燈不就熄了嗎？

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇6

At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white ? "She answered, "The bnde wears white because this is the happiest day of her life."The boy thought about this and said, "Why is the groom wearing black ? "

在一場婚禮上，一個小男孩問他的母親：”媽媽，為什麼那女孩穿白衣服？“這位母親回答道：”新娘穿白衣服，是因為今天是她最快樂的一天。”這個男孩想了想然後説：那為什麼新郎穿黑衣服。“

英語笑話：應聘間諜

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇7

Ten men applied for a job as an industrial spy. The interviewer gave each man a sealed envelope. They were ordered to deliver it to the fifth floor.

有10個男人去應徵產業間諜的工作。面試者給每個人一個封好的信封。他們被命令把信封送到五樓。

One man secretly disobeyed and opened his envelope. It read,"You're the right person for this job. Report to the personneldspartment immediately.“

有一個人偷偷地違反命令，打開了給他的信封。上面寫着：¨你是這份工作最合適的人選。馬上到人事部報到。"

英語笑話：養育孩子方面做得很糟糕

英語笑話：養育孩子方面做得很糟糕

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇8

A boy told his mom she was awful at raising kids.

一個男孩告訴他媽媽，説她在養育孩子方面做得很糟糕。

She replied,"Hold your tongue. That's not truel"

這位母親回嘴説：“住口，那不是真的”

The boy said, "Then why do you send me tO bed when l'm not tired and wake me up in the morning when l am ? "

男孩説：¨那為什麼你總是在我不困的`時候叫我上牀睡覺，在早上我困的時候叫醒我?

簡單搞笑的英語小故事 篇9

A farmer wanted to bring ten bags of rice to the market and sell them. He put five bags of rice on his horse and five bags of rice on his donkey.

The bags were very heavy, and soon the donkey became tired. "Please," he said to the horse, "could you carry one of my bags for me? They're so heavy, and you are stronger than I am."

"No," said the horse. "I serve the farmer, not you. He gave me five bags to carry, not six! _

You must do your job, and I must do mine."

The farmer, the horse, and the donkey continued walking under the hot sun. The poor donkey became more and more tired. Suddenly, he fell over at the side of the road.

The farmer tried to pull the donkey to his feet, but the donkey was too tired to move. Then the farmer took the donkey's five bags of rice and put them on the horse.

The horse realized he had made a big mistake. "If I had agreed to help the donkey," he cried, "I'd only have to carry one extra bag. Now I must carry all ten!"

一個農民想把十袋大米到市場上賣。他把五袋大米放在他的馬和五袋大米在他的驢。

袋子很重，很快驢子就累了。”“請，”他對馬説，“你能幫我拿一個包嗎?他們太重了，你比我強。”

“不，”馬説。我為農民服務，而不是你。他給了我五個袋子，而不是六個!_

你必須做你的工作，我必須做我的工作。”

農夫，馬，和驢子繼續走在烈日下。可憐的驢子變得越來越累了。突然，他摔倒在馬路邊上。

農夫想把驢子拉到他的腳上，但驢子太累了，動不動了。農夫拿着驢的五袋大米，把它們放在了馬身上。

那馬意識到他犯了一個大錯誤。”“如果我答應幫驢子的話，”他喊道，“我只能帶一個額外的袋子。現在我必須帶所有十個!”